The world is so much bigger than where we are....

 What do you do when the place you feel most comfortable in, and at home in, is in a different country? I have no clue. For me the place I feel most at home is in old town Heidelberg, Germany. I used to live in Germany and France as a small child and then Germany again as an adult. I also ventured back there several years ago. Heidelberg has always been my favorite small city. The cobblestone streets of the old town is my favorite area, the sidewalk cafes and the river cruises. It is a beautiful city.


I love Germany. I don't think I appreciated it as much when I was there as when I wasn't. When my ex husband and I left there we spent the rest of his military career trying to go back. Of course the military never seems to send you where you want to go. Lol. Having grown up in a military family I was used to moving as a child. I was one of the luckier ones though because the moves stopped when I was about 7. As a kid I kinda relished being in the same place, until times got tough at school or something and then I longed to move! When my ex and I got married we decided that it was probably a good idea to join the military as we were starting a family and it provided financial security as well as medical care. Of course being as naive as we were we did not for a moment think that we would be shipped overseas for his first duty station in the Air Force. But sure enough our first assignment was to Germany. We were both pretty upset. I was crying and my husband was desperate to trade with someone, anyone! I look back on it now and realize that in retrospect it was the best thing that could ever have happened in my life. For one thing, it gave me a larger world view. Even at 19 years old I began to realize that decisions being made in the US were affecting people in these other countries. To live in a foreign country when you're in the military is to check your car every morning before work to make sure it hasn't been tampered with. Car bombs were all the rage when we were there. At the time the terrorism was more related to the missiles that our government wanted to deploy there. This was during the cold war so it was the west vs the USSR, aka the Soviet Union. I think the most profound thing for me was when I watched the movie "The Day After" while I was there. I remember looking at that and thinking, "it would happen just like that". As a military wife I also got to go through a kind of "what if" fare....It was really an experience. We had these different stations. One station you would have your blood typed and could donate blood. There was another station where you got gas mask training in case of chemical warfare. THAT one really scared me because up and until that point the only war I thought we'd get into would be nuclear in nature. So that was a reality check. The most ridiculous one? The one where we had to fill out forms for where we wanted all of our stuff shipped in case of nuclear war. I was like, "really? Ummm we'd more than likely be dead so there would be no place to ship our stuff or no stuff to ship". Either way it was really surreal.

But I have to say that living overseas taught me more and expanded my world view more than any book ever could. Many times we tend to be very into ourselves here in the US. We are self involved as a country, we believe that the world revolves around us. Is our country a leader? Of course we are. Do other countries look to us to see how we handle things? Yes. But we are not the only country in the world. We are not perfect. No one is perfect. Do I love my country? Of course. Do I like it? Most of the time, yes. But I don't like the arrogance of many of our people. As an American living in a foreign country I made sure to learn the language and was surprised to see how many others didn't even try. Just saying danke or bitte is NOT enough. Most Germans do speak some English, but it is a show of respect when you at least try to speak their language, after all you are in THEIR country. That is also the best way to establish relationships with those you live around.


When I lived in Germany, I didn't live on a military base. I lived in a little village where I knew no Americans. I did meet Americans through my husband and became great friends with one in particular, although we didn't live very near each other. But I met Germans. One of which was my landlords daughter. I became friendly with her and her husband, she also had a daughter who was a year older than my own daughter. A few years ago I was able to go back and visit and stay with their family. Their is no substitute to learning about a culture than to be immersed in it. I would never ever trade all that I learned living in Germany. I love the country and the people. I went to local events, shopped at the local bakery and butcher across the street and visit with the sweetest old woman, Frau Hess, who owned the corner market and did not speak a word of English. But we communicated. I remember when my mom came to visit me she was very impressed that I conversed so easily with Frau Hess and it was obvious that Frau Hess was very fond of me and my daughter. She cried when we I said goodbye before we moved. I will never forget her she was the sweetest old woman I have ever known. Generous and kind.

Which leads me back to my need to ramble. To travel. The last time I felt this way, I was able to go. I spent 2 weeks revisiting Germany, going on to Paris, and then staying in London. I took my then 13 year old daughter with me and hoped that she would learn a little something. The trip of a lifetime. I think I am spoiled having been able to experience these countries. I know that when I started walking around in old town Heidelberg it made me feel like I was finally home. It made me feel happy inside when I had been feeling so very badly. I was having a very hard time in my life, dealing with the PTSD and I wanted something that felt comforting, I NEEDED it. Heidelberg was it. My mind immediately went to "how can I find a way to move here?!". Even at my age I still have that wanderlust and that need to go "home". I know it is a contradiction.


The only reason I ever wanted to come home to the states was to be with my family and friends. Move my family and friends to Germany and I'd be the happiest person on earth. That was the only thing missing there. I will never forget living there or living in France. I will never forget visiting Switzerland, southern Germany, Austria.....seeing the alps which were breathtaking, no picture truly does them justice. I will never forget my visit to the Netherlands, walking through the old side streets in Amsterdam with my mom when she came to visit me. Going to Paris and walking the streets all the way to the Eiffel tower with my daughter. Mangling the French language in an attempt to fit in as best I could. 

The trip to London with my daughter was just so much fun, we walked a lot and shopped at grocery stores and department stores, not just tourist shops. I wanted my child to experience as much local life as she could in every town/city we visited. When I lived overseas I feel as though I experienced and understood so much more than anything I could have ever read or experienced on a brief trip. I can put the world into a larger perspective. I wish that I had the money to travel as much as I want to. Even better I wish I could live months in other countries. To experience life as the locals do is to understand and broaden your world view. So many Americans have no desire to do this. I truly don't know why. Maybe it is because of how I grew up. Some of us are happy to peer out our own window, live in the same town our whole lives and know everyone around us from cradle to grave....Then there are some of us who have an obsessive need to absorb other cultures and experience other ways of life.....some of us just feel a calling to ramble on......