Seriously, this has been another not so great year. But I have had many that were much worse than this one. Honestly there are some good things out of it too. I mean, I am finally hooked up with a good therapist who seems to be helping me. Some walls are starting to crumble and that is a positive direction for me. This year has been especially tough due to a death in the family, my not being medicated when I need it, some issues in my son's marriage that are still weighing heavy on him, and financially it has been a disaster that will take another year to get out of. But it could be worse. I lost my house but I do have a roof over my head. My kids are all alive and doing the best they can. We are still a family and that is the most important thing in the world. I've lost a lot of material stuff this year, belongings that can never be replaced....I have to forget about that or I'll go crazy. That is probably one of the worst things for me this year.
I have learned the power of friendship and have received some great support. Not many ups, but the ups were appreciated when I had them. Right now I feel down, I have a hard time shaking that. But I know that going back to work and getting back on my medication will help that a lot. Combine that with therapy and I am on my way to a happier, healthier life.
So many things I wanted to do this year, but I never was able to get them done. Between the PTSD and no money it was pretty much impossible. But as time goes on and the fog in my brain starts to clear I am hopeful that there will be a light at the end of this tunnel. I am seriously try to work on my book and that has been a long time in the making. The issue I am having is getting it started and in what format. It isn't so easy to just write a book. So many things to consider. I am still try to figure out how I want to proceed. I am kinda all over the place between wanting to basically write out a flat "story of my life" or a book of fiction that actually isn't entirely as I would be using my real-life experiences as part of the book....or I may just write a book of essays, try to find the humor in so many dark situations. Obviously some things that I want to write about are not humorous at all, but those can be in a different book, I don't have to cram everything into one book. I just have so many ideas, I've even had ideas for straight fictional novels that have nothing to do with my life. Sometimes with writers they want to put you into a box of what you are a writer of. For instance it is considered illogical for a romance writer to write a non-fiction book. Where to begin is the question. Once I begin if it is right then the writing will flow. I know myself well enough to know that much.
One resolution I am TRYING to do is to talk less. It seems that half of what I say doesn't even get heard so what is the point. I am a lifelong talker. It will be a hard habit to break. It will serve me great as a writer with lots to say, but talking.....well no one likes that. So that will take the most work I think. To be conscious of how much I talk and trying to pare it down. I will also do my best to keep up this blog which will be harder now that I am going back to work next week. But I will certainly give it a good shot, because it is important to me and to the few who read it. I know I should and could market this blog....but it is kinda nice to have people "find" me. I hope that more people find me, I have a lot to say and I think that some people might like to hear it.
So for now I am off. I have more resolutions to think out and write down. Let's see how many I keep. How many will YOU keep? Most of us give up within the first couple of weeks. I challenge us all to see if we can get through a month and then another and then another....soon it will be next year and we will be so proud of ourselves if we can keep at least one of them. My suggestion: Make the list short and doable. Then take it day by day and see how it goes.
Good Luck to all of you and have a happy and safe new years eve and a wonderful new year!!! We deserve it!!!!
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