Well, I think I officially suck!

But the cute little baby drawing makes it seem sweet le pait pas? What I mean to say is that I am not good about keeping up my blog as I should. One thing or another keeps me from doing what I want to do, which is to write something at least every other day! But alas, I suck. I have two blogs that I write, perhaps I am being too ambitious. But truthfully I wanted to have this serious one and also one for fun. No one wants to be so serious all of the time, especially when you are trying to get better. Humor is actually a very good thing to have. Life is so serious already and when you are suffering from any kind of illness, mental or physical, humor is a great way to feel better about things. As they say, "  It can't rain all the time"   right? 


  So on with the business of blogging. I went to see Dr. H on Tuesday, as always, and told him about the little episode that I talked about in my last blog. Being fragile and all. He told me that just the act of stating that I am fragile and vulnerable is a position of strength. He also explained to me a few things about myself that gave me so much to think about. I had told him about how it is only men who have told me that I don't know how to talk to people. None of my female friends agree with that assessment and he told me that he felt that I was a great communicator. He said that his interactions with me have shown me to be intelligent and thoughtful when I speak. That means a lot to me. But he also pointed out to me that there is a reason why some of these men feel this way. It is not about me. I have to ask myself why these men chose me as friends or as a girlfriend/wife. What is it about me that attracted them and what is it about them that attracted me. Wow, talk about a can of worms? Sure makes you think. I think that many of us wonder why we are attracted to "  bad boys"   but have we really given much thought as to why some of these men are attracted to us? I know that I didn't think all that much about it. Not to say that I didn't but I was more concerned about why I was attracted to THEM. But looking at it the other way is REALLY illuminating. I highly recommend doing that if you've had a series of relationships that you are trying to figure out how you got into some of them. I know that it gave me so much to think about and to compare. Because truthfully, all of the men I have been involved with in one way or another has mom issues. They seem to be attracted to me because I want to take care of them like a mom, but I also take abuse like a mom as well. You know the whole loving unconditionally thing. Or liking as the case may be. I have gone back over male friendships as well as relationships and I find the same thing. Super bizarro! I think I am attracted to them because of their strength and knowing that they could take care of me. 


Those are small bits of wisdom to impart in this blog but wow does it make you think about a lot, especially when you are my age. So think about it. If there are any men who are reading this, think of this about women you've been involved with as friends or lovers. It is truly enlightening, at least it was to me. I am still thinking about it! 


So this blog I will leave you with that thought as well as this video from "  The Crow"...au revoir my readers and again I will TRY to be better at not sucking! My therapist will be on vacation for a week after my next visit so who knows what I can come up with on my own, but I have some ideas and they are salacious!